This concept, forgiveness, how does it make you feel?
What situations, individuals, aspects of the past and present come up for you?
Notice and hold these in your heart as you continue reading this.
The process of understanding what it is to forgive is often a lifelong study, that of compassion and understanding, and also honoring our boundaries and our NO. Forgiveness can be the ultimate paradox: that of being able to love and release anger towards another, while acknowledging deeply the pain, sometimes even trauma, we experienced as a result of their presence in our lives.
Forgiveness, the word itself– FOR, for me, I GIVE. I offer grace towards my life circumstances. I release that which keeps me from being at peace with MY life story.
The life story can indeed hold trauma, nefarious characters, some perhaps more aware than others of the pain they cause or have caused. Some are so wounded, so mentally-emotionally ill, that the ability to self reflect is seemingly absent. Some live on the edge of sanity, and/or emotional breakdown, such that pausing to consider their actions would challenge and crumble their shakily built sense of truth and reality. It can seem like banging against a brick wall at times, this seeking of acknowledgment.
And yet, take a pause in this moment for deep self reflection. When we feel we need something from another in order to move on, it is an opportunity to journey within and ask ourselves– what is it that we are truly seeking?
Acknowledgment. How often have we wished or tried so hard to get someone to take responsibility for the pain they cause or did cause. Yes, speaking our pain is a powerful practice. Saying out loud, “this hurt me”, and still in ways hurts me, moves the energy and allows that throat chakra to express the fire within. All the while, understanding that a brick wall is brilliantly adept at holding things from touching the deep heart. The practice of forgiveness can involve accepting that we may never get the heart centered affirmation of our experience from the mouth of the other. Give yourself instead the blessing of acknowledging your truth within, “this was my experience, translated through the lens of my own unique perception, it is my truth.”
Ultimate unbiased truth is a myth. We can be erred, sensitive, wounded and still acknowledge our experience as OUR TRUTH, as long as we can also acknowledge that it does not mean it is THE ABSOLUTE INCONTROVERTIBLE TRUTH. Again, holding the paradox.
Freedom. We want to be free of pain, do we not? The uncomfortable emotions of loss, anger, sadness etc. Perhaps the tendrils of abuse sabotaged our sense of self as well as our sense of safety. Perhaps we feel or felt we have had our life force stripped away, and now we find ourselves needing to unlearn, unwind and rebuild. Freedom comes from choosing ourselves, orienting from within, and choosing the energy with which to walk with. We can choose to let go in each moment, to choose freedom, and lightness of being, despite the jagged rocks in the road. Through the shadows we go, to find the light once again.
Peace. Breathe. The pause at the end of an exhale, shows us what it can feel like to be at peace. Imagine being able to sit within the quiet moments, and feel stillness. What would it mean if we found pure contentment with ourselves and where our feet are currently planted along the ever winding path of life. In what ways can you give this gift to yourself right now. Forgiveness. This is the Key.
I forgive myself. I forgive the other. I forgive the very underbelly of life itself, life in all of its tragedy and disappointment and pain and beauty.
Breathe.
Compassion can sometimes be experienced within the energy body as a lowering of the guard, and sometimes this works out better than others. I would put forth an addendum to Compassion. Let’s play around instead with Compassion with Boundaries, or Fierce Compassion.
This instead calls forth the intention: I honor myself first, I am filled with my sense of self love, I choose my reality, and from there, I can honor the other as a fellow being, radiating forgiveness energy.
Less of “I need to protect myself from them”, and more so “I have confidence in my boundaries and decide from there, HOW I can engage with “the other”, and still feel safe.”
In some cases, this means not engaging, in these cases the aligned boundary is strong and wide. A wise elder graced my path, and presented the concept that every single being in this universe and beyond exists on a grand and beautiful tapestry. There is no way to truly block another, or remove another from our reality. Rather, this person can be placed at the very edges of your tapestry. You can thus expand your aura without constriction and still not bump up into the other. You can send forgiveness through those tiny threads of earth and ether, such that by the time it arrives, it is glittered with the heart energy of all of those in between. The energy of grace solidifying the boundary and amplifying the prayer for healing.
Responsibility. Forgiveness, as a practice and lifestyle requires acknowledgment of our own choices, our own role in the creation of a situation. Our soul chooses the storyline to illuminate the path towards self actualization. This can be difficult, and requires freeing ourselves from the hard carved out programs of consciousness telling us we are either a Victim or Perpetrator, or that we are a Rescuer or Martyr.
Trust. We don’t need to teach anyone anything really. Showing up authentically and humbling does this naturally. We can trust also, that through the laws of magnetism and mirroring, that which another is needing to learn will be taken care of. Rather, return to that golden rule, of treating others how you wish to be treated, and you will be a force of love rather than retribution. This also allows us to let go of anger towards another, speak your truth, aligned expression, and let it go–back to peace and back to the center.
Forgive Yourself. As we mature in our Emotional Awareness, we can experience the deep grief of realizing the pain we have caused others. Even deeper into the pain body may lie the residues of the ways we have betrayed ourselves, over and over again. Grant yourself the permission and the grace, to drop the guilt and shame. Gather the dense energy you may hold into the wells of self judgment, and bring into the heart, into the fires of transformation, and transmute into LOVE. Perhaps the lesson now allows you greater mastery in the skill of being more conscious and loving to others and YOURSELF. If there are deepers layers of this lesson that need to be experienced and learned, trust that opportunities will present themselves WITHOUT needing holding onto the past. Self and other punishment is a value of past cultures, it no longer has a place here in this evolving human collective except as an opportunity to choose otherwise.
Responsibility and Devotion, these concepts are coded with love AND discipline. How would it feel different if you simply and deeply learned from your past rather than judged it?
Gratitude. Forgiveness requires Gratitude. Imagine radiating the energy of gratitude like a fountain of Golden Light over your entire being, your life, your past present and future.
Resistance dissolves away. And thus we drop, breath by breath into a place of peace with our pain. Pain as a teacher, ushering on the path of greater self love. Pain transmuted into prayers. EnLighten the load. Move slow and mindfully as your dance through life, and less and less of the PAINFUL lessons are needed to understand our SOUL.
What are your prayers? And can you see that they are, even if just the smallest of ways thus far, already are yours?