I’ve observed numerous individuals expressing aspirations to alter how they allocate their time. They desire to allocate more time to their families, attain a better work-life balance, engage in more reading, or simply spend more time outdoors.
These goals are commendable, as they all involve a seemingly straightforward task: changing how we utilize our time.
However, it’s seldom as straightforward as it sounds, isn’t it? Something prevents us from utilizing our time as we desire, even when we struggle to make those changes.
Let’s examine the factors that divert us from such goals and explore how to become more intentional in how we spend our time.
What derails our intentions?
Imagine you have a goal, such as spending more time with your family (or friends). Why do you need such a goal in the first place? It’s worth asking without judgment. Why aren’t you already doing it?
Or to put it another way: What is likely to hinder you from achieving that goal?
Even though we have the best intentions with our time, there are a few common things that tend to divert us from those intentions:
- Unexpected events occur. These events could include urgent work situations, new requests for our time, crises, or anything that demands immediate attention but wasn’t anticipated.
- Tasks take longer than expected. This is quite common. We may think we’ll only need an hour to complete a report, but it ends up taking four. We assume a quick errand to the store will take 20 minutes, but it extends to 45 minutes.
- We forget to allocate time for essential activities that don’t typically appear on our schedules. We neglect to set aside time for eating, resting, showering, brushing our teeth, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, and so on. As a result, our ideal schedule rarely accommodates everything we actually need to do, causing our plans to often go off track.
My suggestion for dealing with these issues is to allow some leeway in your plan so you can handle unexpected circumstances. If you have allocated time for intentional activities, don’t schedule it too tightly. Make room for rest, self-care, catching up on messages, and the like.
But there’s a bigger reason why we get distracted from our intentions: the conflict between fear and comfort.
For instance:
- We might want to spend time with our family, but when we receive numerous requests from clients (or colleagues), we may decide to work late instead of coming home on time.
- We might aspire to read more, but we abandon that intention when we feel stressed about a project and opt to fill our available time with work.
- Alternatively, we may find ourselves scrolling through our phones, browsing the internet, or watching videos instead of doing what we planned, seeking distraction as a means of comfort during times of stress.
When we experience stress, fear, or resistance, we tend to gravitate towards work or distractions because we believe it will alleviate the fear or provide solace in the face of stress. This is the primary reason we deviate from our intentions.
How to intentionally allocate your time
The first step is to consider the intentions you have for your time but aren’t currently acting upon. For example, you may desire to read more, spend more time outdoors, and increase the amount of time you spend with your family. Once you have identified these intentions, you can refine them further: allocate 30 minutes to reading every day, schedule a one-hour walk or hike in nature four times per week, reserve evenings after 6 p.m. on weekdays for family time, and dedicate half-days on both Saturdays and Sundays to leisure activities.
Next, block off these activities on your calendar and make commitments to others. Perhaps you can take your walks with your partner or best friend. Plan your weekends and weeknights with your family. Participate in a reading challenge or establish a routine of reading time with your family.
Set a reminder to review your intentions each morning or evening.
These are the initial steps. The real challenge arises when you face fear, resistance, or stress and are tempted to abandon your intentions by engaging in work or seeking distractions.
When this happens:
- Bring awareness to the emotions or sensations that are pulling you away from your intentions. Can you feel it in your body?
- Find a way to calm or soothe the fear or stress. Do you need a few minutes of walking? Deep breaths? Some self-care? Someone to talk to?
- Once you feel calmer, remind yourself of your intentions. Take a moment to recall why you wanted to pursue these goals. Are these intentions more important than the temporary discomfort caused by fear or stress?
Return to your intentions with love and dedication.
This process requires practice and may not come naturally to most of us. Nevertheless, if you aspire to live a more intentional life, this is the practice to embrace. What would you like to do?