The Nervous System & Core Wounds: An Exploration & Journal Exercise

In the process of healing, we inevitably confront the factors that keep our nervous system in a constant state of alert, often referred to as the fight-or-flight mode. In this article, I will present several lists to reference if you are at one of these valuable junctions of unwinding and downregulating your nervous system. Ultimately, we will encounter what we might call core wounds—disempowering beliefs about ourselves that serve as the foundation for unhealthy patterns in relationships with ourselves and others. These core wounds can result from personal life experiences or be inherited from family, friends, culture, or society.

Adopt a Compassionate Mindset

Before we begin, I encourage you to approach this journey with compassion, neutrality, and curiosity rather than a mindset of “I need to figure out what’s wrong with me.” Fear and judgment often arise during this process, which is why things get stuck in our system. However, allow an overarching theme of genuine self-exploration to keep the journey from becoming too dark or heavy. Many who have been on this healing journey will tell you that at some point, there is an acceptance that every aspect of our journey—the hard parts, the blessings, the sticky bits, and shadows—all ultimately serve a self-empowering, self-loving, authenticity-blossoming purpose.

The Goal is Not Constant Calmness

The goal is not to feel calm and relaxed all the time but to be aware of when we are “stuck” in fight-or-flight mode and when we are thrown off balance by emotional triggers. Consider your ability to ride the waves of life’s challenges and to notice when the seas are calm, taking the opportunity for stillness when it presents itself.

First, Assess Your Current Safety

Before diving into the past, assess your present situation. Make a list of what is currently stressing you out and discern between genuine threats to your well-being and anxieties or fears. The latter will give clues to your core wounds. None of these are judgments—just pieces that may or may not increase your stress levels.

Questions to Consider:

1. Home Environment:
   • Do you feel comfortable and safe in your neighborhood?
   • What is the level of clutter?
   • Do you have access to nature?
2. Relationships:
   • Do you feel safe to express your needs?
   • Do you have any relationships that feel “egg-shelly”?
3. Children:
   • What ages are your children, and how much support do you have?
   • Do you have time for solo self-care?
4. Work:
   • Do you like your job, coworkers, and hours?
   • Is your work meeting your essential needs, such as providing enough income and aligning with your values?
   • Is there toxicity in the workplace?
5. Financial Situation:
   • Do you feel stable and secure financially?
   • Differentiate between scarcity trauma and scarcity fears or mentality.
6. Self-Care:
   • Are you able to take time for exercise, meditation, and rest?
7. Physical Health:
   • Are you struggling with chronic pain or disease?
   • Do you have fears about health or longevity?
8. State of the World:
   • How does the state of the world affect you?
   • Do you watch the news or delve into conspiracy theories?

Relax and Resource Yourself

Identify what helps you feel relaxed and resourced. This is highly individual, so explore different practices and see what works for you.

Categories and Practices:

1. Alone Quiet Time:
   • Spend time in quiet contemplation of nature.
   • Swim in natural waters.
   • Walk barefoot on the earth.
   • Bask in the sun.
2. Self-Care Therapeutic Practices:
   • Sauna/Steam Room
   • Castor Oil Packs
   • Body Work (Massage, Acupuncture)
   • Epsom Salt Baths
   • Gua Sha
   • Red Light Therapy
   • Yoni Steaming
3. Movement:
   • Stretching
   • Yoga
   • Qi Gong
   • Nature Walks
   • Outdoor activities (Sailing, Surfing, Rock Climbing, Hiking)
4. Mindfulness:
   • Breathwork
   • Meditation
   • Journaling
   • Sound Healing
5. Creative Expression:
   • Listening to music
   • Dancing
   • Painting/Drawing
   • Playing music/singing
6. Relationships:
   • Emotional and physical intimacy
   • Connecting with safe and supportive people
   • Feeling free to be authentically yourself

Understanding Core Wounds

Core wounds are deep-seated beliefs that influence your nervous system tone. Here are some common core wounds to reflect on:

• I am not enough, or I am too much: Feeling inadequate or excessive in various ways (e.g., smart enough, pretty enough, loud, needy).
• I am not lovable as my whole self: Believing that parts of myself are unlovable leads to shame and hiding aspects of myself.
• I am not a good person: Feeling guilt or shame for past actions.
• I am not safe to speak about my needs: Fear of abandonment or conflict.
• I do not matter: Believing your needs are secondary to others.
• I am alone: Fear of abandonment.
• I am not safe: General feelings of insecurity.

Transforming Core Wounds into Core Truths

Reflect on these core wounds and consider how they might evolve into empowering truths:

• I am enough because I am working to accept myself and my needs.
• I am safe because I trust my intuition and am learning to ask for help.
• I am not too much for those who are my true soul connections.
• I forgive myself for past mistakes and choose to act with integrity.
• I choose myself and my needs, even if it means losing someone.
• I trust my ability to support myself.
• I am safe.

Conclusion

Take a moment to breathe out, soften your muscles, and find stillness. Remember that healing is a journey, and every aspect of it serves to empower and transform you. Embrace the process with compassion and curiosity, and trust that you have the strength and wisdom to navigate the waves of life.