You can and should practice directing your thoughts and feelings. You can choose to stop listening to the inner voices (and external voices from friends and family) who tell you that “you can’t.” But first you must acknowledge your full range of feelings.
We can reach a higher level of overall well-being when we acknowledge feelings and emotions. Few people make that effort a priority. However, the more you practice this method, it will become easier. Too many of us have been taught that our feelings need to be held back or put away in the deep recesses of our minds. Let’s look at how that happens and understand ways to unwind our feelings and go inward.
We live in a world that puts a low priority on a healthy emotional life. We associate many feelings with being vulnerable, weak, crazy, ashamed, or wrong. We are taught to focus on the physical world and our physical selves. Emotions, especially negative emotions, are to be hidden, suppressed, repressed, or stuffed.
We all want to be happy all the time, but this is unrealistic. “Don’t worry, be happy!” was a hit song. But, what does it mean to be happy? If we are unhappy, have we failed at life?
Feelings fluctuate and can be fluid all the time. You can have several, conflicting feelings at the same time. Trying to be perpetually happy can set you up for disappointment. If happiness is the goal, you will feel pressured to pretend to be happy. This is known as spiritual bypassing, which is a nice way of saying the you avoiding your unresolved issues.
A much healthier goal is to aspire to freedom. Emotional freedom. That doesn’t mean we “let it all hang out.” You can free yourself from the unhealthy thought patterns and emotions that hold you back from living a joy-filled authentic life. You gain freedom by facing your emotions, both negative and positive. Avoiding them accomplishes nothing.
If you work with a practitioner who works with energy networks, you may find that they encourage resolving emotions. Energy flows more freely. Your practitioner may help you find ways to release anything blocking the energy.
You may face your own inner resistance as you practice acknowledging emotions. There are many ways to experience resistance. Resistance manifests itself as fear, procrastination, distraction, perfectionism, avoidance, or overscheduling among others.
Resistance lures you into your comfort zone, which may not be the best place for you. How do you work through resistance to heal and feel again? Become mindful of the inner voices. Try relaxation or simply, briefly surrender to the feelings propelling the resistance. When you know the best choice for yourself, failing to follow through can lead to anger, frustration, self-judgment, self-loathing, and other negativity.
Mindfulness to our feelings is a crucial element to becoming our authentic selves. Lasting change will not happen when we avoid negative feelings. We judge them. Emotions have a negative stigma in our culture.
So, why do your feelings matter? Feelings are energy in motion. We can become physically ill if we repress or suppress them. We can damage our overall well-being by holding on to negative feelings. Our decisions are driven by our more basic feelings like love, hate, and fear.
Our feelings help us understand our thinking and beliefs. They add value to our daily experience. Feelings underlie patterns, beliefs, and habits. We must understand them to make changes.
You can choose to stop listening to the voices that say “you can’t,” or “you shouldn’t.” Stop and notice the feelings. Ask questions about why you are feeling them. Ask if you are properly addressing the right issues. You may want to hire a professional to help you identify your emotions and help unwind them, help free them from repression. Be aware of them. Acknowledge them, and then let go and move on. How you feel matters.